the last coffee with you

This coffee shop is no more the same
These streets, I see through this wet glass are still the same
This dusk has got colors
These roads are still covered with yellow and magenta flowers.
Kids play in this lane, but you are not here with me, to watch them.
You are not here to look deep into my eyes.
You are not here to play with my fingers
I wish you were here in this twilight
Sitting opposite to me, sipping coffee.
For the first time I can smell the aroma in this cafe
Earlier all I could smell was the fragrance of your untied hair
I’m done, nothing holds me here, I will pay the bill and walk away
Walk away to those lanes where we walked together,
Where you whispered to my heart..
I look down and I see these magenta and yellow flowers,.
I came here in search of something, something I can’t define
I came here to find something, something that makes me, me.
I failed; I’m leaving your street
There is no one to hold me close when I leave, no tears will be dribbled down
I will never come back to this café again, searching for my soul.
I don’t know where you are, I don’t know what you do
But I’m here, beneath this tree, where you touched my heart
Where I gently wiped off your tears..
I’m here in this lane, where you had told me that we will never meet again
I’m here..alone…dejected and lost..

the clouds

I’m walking, my journey is incessant
What have I lost, what am I searching
These paths, these woods, these fences
Where are they leading me??

I dreamed the moon light, I yearned for the rain
But when I woke up, all I could see was this cloudy dark sky
The clouds wander in the sky impeding my craving to see the moon
I hear the frail song of a lone night bird, longing for its mate’s arrival

Oh lone bird…

This darkness covers this valley, but it could never wrap your shivering heart
I know these clouds make you sacred, all I wish for, is this rain..
But I pray to the angels

“Let your mate not be dazed in the drizzle”
“Let your love not be lost in the woods”

Don’t weep, don’t panic

I’m here..But I don’t know how to tell you this
I’m oblivious; I wish this wind could tell me how to console you.
Your tears are falling on my heart
Your song has become my companion.

MEMORIES ARE ACHE, NIGHT IS PAIN..

Let your song be the drizzle of this night.
I have lit up a thousand candles in the mountain of my heart for your love
I could see the angels guarding the candles from the misty wind
Your song reaches the mountain, it rambles in this valley

I’m no more alone in this heap,

Your song has turned into a chirping, my prayer has reached the heaven
Your mate reaches the nest, your tweeting is vanishing, and you got your love next to you

But it is yet to rain,,

Let me continue my journey, I have your song in my mind, you are no more alone
It’s started drizzling, both inside and outside..Let me cross this valley
It’s raining in the valley; those larks are counting the rain drops
Angels are covering my candles with their wings,

I hear the clang of the carillon,

Is someone imploring in the mountain, in front of those candles??
Are the angels getting drenched in this drizzle..??
Are those birds shivering in this night..

Where do I belong? What do I own?

Let me walk away...my journey is incessant...
I'm not alone, I have that feeble song..
Let me walk away…my journey is incessant..

Elma

Elma, we will never see again
This rain is not mine; I always believed that it’s ours
But I realize..I’m wrong, as usual

Things will never be the same again
There will not be a girl, waiting for me in the church
There will only be the mist and dew in the morning
There will never be a girl to whisper in my ears
There will only be rain and breeze in the noon

I will be lazy again; I lost the song I always wanted to hear
But I will always yearn to hear that feeble voice.
Elma I will be alone, I know you can’t bear it
Even tears have left me, I wish i could weep.

I’m quivering in this frozen rain, these hailstones fall on my heart
No one will ever weave woolen scarves for me
I know you will never knit mufflers again,

Your needles are pricking into my heart

Elma who will kiss away the blood spots from your finger tip
While you weave..

You taught me what love is, but you never taught me how to live without you
I hear the wedding bells; you look like an angel in this bridal dress..

All eyes are on you, even candles can’t replace the glow on your face
You move like a breeze, caressing my soul

Elma please don’t look for me in this crowd
I’m here behind this pillar,

“””””witnessing the parting of my soul”””””

Please,, please don’t search for me in this crowd

I can’t endure to see those tears in your eyes
It’s our fate,

where will I go? All I had to reside was your heart
What will I do? All I knew was to love you

Your wedding is my funeral

I’m witnessing the interment of my love

I’m watching the committal of my heart

I shall go away to emptiness carrying away your whisperings

And the remembrance of your cuddles that soothed my wounded soul

dusk

Where have you gone?? why are you far??
Who has broken the effigy of our trust??
Who has cut the thread that connected our hearts??
We owned the streets, we guarded the forts: whole night
but for whom??
We never knew,we never wanted to know.
We never used to sleep:we were prepared
We dined with kings and knights.
We were above laws and orders,we owned castles
We woke up together..but..
Where have you gone??
Which storm has deviated your yacht?
Which dynasty has beckoned you?
We had spears and dreams,we fought for legacy
Nothing tempted us but glory,we lived for honor

My chariot is empty without you
Your memories shine like our sword,chopping my heart


I stand in this battlefield,waiting to see your horse behind the dust
The blood of our enemies fall on my face
Their snivel creeps into my ears
Their wheezing makes me weak

Verdict says they deserve it.but this heart cannot be consoled

Our flags are flying in their dynasty;their kids are slaves in our empire
Who made these laws?they sipped the wine and left
They were buried long back
We watched the twilight sun,we walked towards the tents,
But we never heard the mourning

I want you in this desolate land,
I see the boatman waiting for my cadaver
I want you in this gloomy ground
To keep coins on my closed eyes which are never going to be opened
Which are never going to see any victories

Where have you gone??
Which oracle had predicted our fate?

You are not here to guard me from those swords
Their spears have venom at the tip

You are not here to shield me from those spears

Kids of our kingdom will sing
"They fought for the country ,they were more than warriors"

But i crave to hear
"They fought for each other ,they were more than brothers"

on the bank of river Laita

I'm shivering, my vision is fading

All I could see is your face, everything else is blurred
I’m gasping, I see you, in the banks of Laita..... waiting for me.

Waiting for me, to tell the things, you could never tell.

I hear the howling of the wolves, the bats are flying away

"""""Memories are fading...

I’m floating in the emptiness of this dark night.
I’m shivering, I hear you calling me from the horizons
To tell the things that I wanted to hear

I can’t move ,I crawl in this desert of loneliness to reach you, but I cant...

I’m sweating, I feel the wind of death, I’m numb

Is that gallops nearing you...will your voice get vanished along with those gallops
All I could taste is mud and sweat; I’m lost in these paths of pain..

My bones are crushed, my dreams are chopped

I’m pulverized , i see you weeping in the church of mount Dora
i want to call you..
but my voice is feeble

i wish to crawl near your feet..
i wish to touch you

i hear the Church bells from mount Dora

i see you in the bank of river Laita..

waiting for me..

snow

I see your tears
I know you are feeble
Please don’t cry anymore
Once your eyes are filled, it’s my heart that sobs
I know I made you frail

Please don’t hate me anymore, I can’t bear this pain

Clutch ma hands, don’t wipe down those tears
Let me kiss away them: stay close
Your dreams are broken
Your eyes are wet

You are alone, but not anymore

This world will never break your dreams
For you are in my arms

This world will never linger to heed your weeps
For you are my world

Your heart will never bleed again
Your soul will never tremor again

If you walk in rain
It’s my heart that quivers

If you struggle its ma heart that gasp
Sleep quietly, I’m here awake

No lightning can wake you up
No shadows can frighten your dreams

You are close to my soul
And I never want to let you leave

Your prayer will no more ramble in the sky
No clouds will impede your wishes reaching heaven

Your pillows will never be wet.

I will be the drizzle you always wanted to get soaked
I will be the wind you always wanted to feel

Close your eyes, don’t be afraid to see the dreams, you always wanted to see

You will not quiver in this snow
For you are secluded in the warmth of my heart

You will not shiver in this frost
For you are cuddled by these beats

Stay there forever..For you are nothing less than these beats

sodden paths

One day you will weep for me
You will search for me in those Sodden paths where I lurked for you
You will implore on your knees,in front of the altar,
where I had lit up a thousand candles for you
You will yearn for the rain in which I got soaked, in your way
You will ache for those days in which, I was obsessed with you
You will stray in those heaps where I wandered for u like a nomad
You will beg to the heavens for my hug,like I craved for your smile

....BUT YOU WILL NOT FIND ME !!!

You will not find me anymore In your paths,
longing to see your face to soothe my aggravated soul

You will not spot me in that church
Where my heart got burnt along with those candles

You will not see me in that garden again
Where the thorns pricked into ma heart while collecting petals for you

""You are going to get drenched in the rain of desire""

"NO RAIN CAN PUT OFF THE FLAME INSIDE YOUR HEART"

All those drops had deceived me once,

"""NO!! always"""!!

All I wanted to breathe, was your kiss
All I wanted to survive was your sympathy

I’m no more ardent to love you
I know you will come back
But this heart is already broken into pieces

It can never beat for anyone.
"anymore"

Each piece of ma sliced heart is still burning

Cursing the inability to forget your name.

""Your mourning will be the REQUIEM
For ma silent love which had never been pampered by you"".

wind

when you look at me,i become disturbed
when you come near to me, i become vexed
when you touch me, i become weak
when you keep your head on my shoulder,i "console" myself

YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU !!!

you say you can understand me But you never know,
all i have for you is

"a heart full of love"


all i know is i can never make you mine.
that eats me from inside

when you look at me..all i want to do is
"to touch your LIPS"
when you come close to me..all i want to do is
"to hold you close to my SOUL"
when you touch me.. all i want to do is
"to forget this WORLD"
when you keep your head on my shoulder..all i want to do is
"to kiss your FOREHEAD"

this WIND plays with your HAIR
your HAIR plays with my EMOTIONS

you never know
"HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU"

WHEN I REALISE I CAN NEVER MAKE YOU MINE

"I BECOME INFERIOR"

everytime i say to myself

"SHOULDNT HAVE MET HER"...

angel

i can feel you in this wind
i can touch you in this dew drop
i can see you sleeping in the arms of these clouds
i can hear you whispering to the stars
this heart still beats,but im no more alive


"""even shadows are betraying me"""


i wander in this desolate land for your "cuddle"
i stagger in this darkness for your "caress"


you shouldnt haveleft me alone in this thornes
you shouldnt have made me love this life
you shouldnt have taught me to see dreams
you shouldnt have vanished after giving me hope


"my abhorrence to the HEAVENS will never end"
for they have grabbed my angel from me

"my vengeance to the ANGELS is incessant"
for they have stolen my heaven from me

tears

"mom"


i was the only kid who didn't cry that day
i could see the pride in your eyes,i sat on the first bench,
no!! on the first desk
for dad had told me to be in-front,
i didn't know which was the bench and which was the desk
my first day in school..all others were crying
i smiled at both of you, holding the bag close to my heart,,
you never realized the pounding of my heart when i saw you waving your hand..
""""i didn't cry mom""""""
my heart became heavy as you vanished in the crowd..all other parents were waiting to console their kids..but u needn't had to wait,coz your son was smiling..
i became alone mom,,but i had hidden my tears


"dad"


it was raining when you were returning from my college
that was my first college away from home,
when you hugged me,i could feel your tears on my shoulder
i was all alone in that crowd dad!!
my first day in that new place,,you came with me..
and you were about to leave..ill be alone dad.
i saw a million dreams behind your tears
i know you have noticed my tears,,even though i was drenched
but i tried to hide it from you dad.
if my eyes would have become wet,
i would not have seen those dreams in your eyes


"sister"


that Sunday, i searched for you every where in the church after the service.
my small heart started beating fast..i lost the hands to clutch.
all i could see were strange faces gaping at me,,my soul was shivering
you were my world and i was like some one who lost the world.
the moment you came, you saw the smiling face of your younger brother
you never knew what i felt inside,i had hidden my tears



"first love"


i never wanted to make you mine
i never wanted you to love me back
i never wanted you to spend time with me
all i wanted was a "SMILE" from you
you never saw my tears..but i always had it



"broken friendships"


i never considered you as my friends
you were my "BROTHERS"
I DONT KNOW WHAT HAVE I DONE
for you to hate me
i was shattered when i realized that the only feeling that
you all have for me is hatred..when i had only love for you
you know the reasons are your creations only
but i never cried for our relations..my tears were hidden..



"soul-mate"



you came to my world,,i was alone
you changed everything..i had warned you..you never listened
you had shown me a million dreams..you had given me a million promises
you insisted me to see dreams,,and when you left me all alone..all i had with me were those dreams,,you never stood with me when i had tears,,
but i badly needed a shoulder.



"tears"


the only reality...
you were always with me..
sometimes in eyes and always in heart....

the traitor

i'm withdrawing from your life,
with an offended heart and thwarted dreams
though it leaves me hollow..

"i know you will just lose one devotee"

i hunt for a place where your memories are restricted
where a traitor is not forbidden.
one day you will long for me and you will reach a barren land
chasing the blood spots,tipped out of my heart,
where you will see all the demolished monuments of love
""carrying the curse of a thousand births""

the dream''

i see my trance in your eyes
please dont change the world around me,if you cant
"clutch" my hands till i SLEEP.
i feel my heaven on your lap
touch my eyelids with your "lips",for they are heavy like my heart
your face is fading as my eyes are being filled..
tears make your smile vague..
"""be all over me"""
hold me close to your soul and stay close to my eyes
for i may wake up of fear,for not seeing you in my "DREAMS"
if you wanna leave me before i perk up...please..
please be kind enough to take away my memories too..

why????

your silence makes me weak
you conceit pierces my heart
your denial kills my "self"
WHY playing with my emotions,
when i save yours as my "subsistence"???

stars

the day she left me
once again i became "HOLLOW"
that was the last beautiful sunset i ever saw
every night i search for those "stars" i saw in her "eyes"
but i couldn't find them yet,
they also might have "vanished" along with her "promises"

suffocation

still i "cry" remembering your "smile"
still i "weep" remembering your "laugh"
still i "gasp" remembering your "kiss"
make me "insane" or else give back my "soul"
Is this the SENTENCE for weaving "dreamz" with you??????

the church bells

i see the lambent flame of the burning candles in the church yard

i hear the clang of the church bells

i wish i could gauge the tears falling for me

i searched for her every where

i cant leave this world without having her kiss on my fore head

with out getting the warmth of her tears on my frozen face

or else ill hobble in emptyness

carrying my own "corpse"

the dethroned price

i stand on my knees...

"un armed"

i hear the growling for the life of the dethroned prince

dust makes dusk vague

i see the cavalry behind the dust

i failed to recognize the venum in their grin

i will not see the night again

tonite they will toast on my blood

for them im just another prey

"SOON"the sharp arrows will pierce my feeble heart which craves to beat

"""one more VICTIM panting in the BATTLE FIELD of LIFE"""

"""one more HEART broken in the DYNASTY of LOVE"""